Thursday, September 9, 2010

Ode to my 20's: Now it's time to say goodbyyyyeeee…....

Well, it's about that time, today I officially give my "20's" the deuces. Tomorrow I'll be the big "30"-I don't know why, but I'm sooooo excited, I can't contain myself. I think it's a mixture everything. I'm approaching a new era in my life, huge changes are in store for me and just the fact that I'm blessed to see another year. Oh, and not to mention b-day surprises that my loved ones have planned for me. That's always a plus, a gal like me sure loves surprises, I'm not even gonna lie, lol.

On a serious note though, I don’t see why some folks get depressed when they get older. It's not a big deal for me, if anything, I look forward to it. You grow wiser, happier and sexier (well-for sum folks that is, lol) all in all-your LIVING and that's the point. Some people don't live to see past their 20's heck, past their teens! That's unfortunate, so instead of complaining that I'm getting old, and getting all depressed. I'm going to embrace my age whether it be 30, 40, 50 or 60. I think folks should wake the f*ck up and be greatful their old ass is here, lol.

I can definitely say that I enjoyed my 20's, I basically did all that I wanted to. Not saying that my life is going downhill from this point on. I'm just saying I did all the crazy things that one in their 20's should do. I've also had plenty of life changing experiences during those years, good and bad. It molded me into the woman that I am today. My early 20's were great-"21" I was officially inebriated by my older sis. I mean, HARD BODY. I don't even know how I got home, just woke up the next day on the living room floor fully dressed-stilettos and all. That's the way you have to do it though, go in with a bang. Throughout those years I did the typical, partied super hard with the dolls, made a lot of mistakes, tried to discover who "Lolly" was. Dabbled in a few hobbies, learned a few things about myself that I liked and didn't like. I even tried to record an album, did a few demos. Yes, ya girl sings, been doing it since I was 5. I just do it for fun now though, I'll leave that stuff for the Beyonce's of the world. Met some crazy people and got rid of some crazy people, HA. Mid 20's-I was at a stage of confusion in my life. Didn't know where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. I got into meditation and explored my relationship with God a lil deeper. Found answers to several questions that I had. I started my job at MTV, finally moved out of my parents house and was on my own. It was scary but I felt liberated!

Just when I thought things were finally going right, when I turned 24 my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I thought that was the end of my world. My mother was super woman to me, my best friend, my confidant, my ace and my world. She was freaking "Zena The Warrior Princess", lol. I just knew she'd push through. Years passed, and majority of my mid-20's were spent watching my mom slip away. It was the hardest, most painful thing I ever endured in my life. Yet, it made me who I am. At the age of 27 I lost my mother Bernadette Daniel. When that happened, I just thought that was it. I lost my life….but through my mother's death I learned so much. I learned how to cope with things, how to love harder, how to be stronger and how to be happier. I now, not only live for myself but live for my mom. I want to make her proud, she blessed me with life and I plan on living every bit of it to the fullest for her!!!! Now in my late 20's, I can say that there is still plenty for me to learn. Also, probably a few more mistakes to make, but I am definitely prepared this time. I am healthy, happy, have a job, have my AMAZING family, great friends, found the love of my life who treats me like a queen and most important, I have my peace of mind. Most people in their 30's can't say that therefore, I am blessed. Thank you God and I am ready to embrace this new chapter in my life……..



Anonymous said...

I love love love this post Lolly. You are such an amazing woman. Thanks for letting us into your world!

Raquel H.-BK

Anonymous said...

One word for this post-LOVE!


Anonymous said...

Good shit Lah.